The same old hypocrisy

Why am I not surprised that Seventeen is teaming up with the Biggest Loser?

Seventeen and its ilk–as well as their grown-up relatives like Cosmo and Glamour–make millions talking out of both sides of their mouth.

That they regularly spout body-acceptance platitudes while promoting fat stigma is a feature, not a bug, of their business model.

They’ve done it for as long as I can remember, and I doubt it will change: there’s too much money to be made from selling insecurity to teenage girls while placating them with the occasional nod to body acceptance.

If Seventeen truly believed in the “love your body” crap it claims to espouse?

It would probably stop existing, because it would no longer be profitable.

*insert rant about the relationship between capitalism and fat-hatred here*

Guest post: Alternative fashion philosophy

This is a guest post by my friend Valtinen, who has badass Goth style. Enjoy!

Alternative Fashion Philosophy: Representation and Availability

For me, running out of black lipstick in April is a desperate situation. The last time I did, I ran around to every cosmetic booth within a forty mile radius of my home looking for a replacement. The assistants kept telling me to wait until October when they had their Halloween supplies stocked… which is the problem. I dress like it’s Halloween every day.

It takes work — and a lot of black lipstick — to be this awesome all the time.
(Me, Lakeview Cemetery, Seattle, WA, April 2011)

I wish I could say that I have always been brave enough to wear what I wanted but I haven’t been. Even my teen phase of gothic gear was unhappily brief. I felt judged for my macabre tastes which had begun in earliest childhood. I could never find what I wanted to wear. Given the classification of Freak throughout my formative years for the few things I did manage to scrounge up did nothing to further my hopes of being taken seriously. I started hiding my alternativeness beneath windbreakers, baseball caps, and khakis, a phase of “normal” that makes me now cringe with greater regret than any other garment choice ever has.

Yes, that’s a golf cart on the left. Let’s not talk about that…
(Me, Torrington Country Club, Goshen, CT, June 1995)

I have since been able to shed the constraints of mainstream fashion which govern the masses. I know that sounds like a judgment, but judgment only enters clothing and style when you depart from fads. It’s the spoon-fed marketing, “if you’re not wearing what’s fashionable, then you have a problem,” etc. The very fact that what I wanted to wear was not just condemned by the people of my environment but by every company that sold clothing made me think that something was wrong with me, “Why don’t I like the spring colours of puce and mauve?  Why don’t I want to wear pink and green plaid pants?? If I don’t wear distressed blue jeans, will I never get laid again?!?! Oh no!!!” Eventually, I called bullshit.

 

Friday links, 1/4/13

Delicious pomegranate chocolate cupcakes that a friend made

Fat Activism
–In news we already knew, “overweight” people have a lower risk of mortality than “normal weight” ones. Paul Campos and Marilyn Wann both have great responses.
-Ragen reviews her successes of 2012, and reveals a new project.
-Tori’s new year resolution: to like food.
-Hanne Blank interviews Virgie Tovar, author of Hot & Heavy.
-Haley of Redefining Body Image reflects on how her great-grandmother taught her to be fat and fabulous.

Fa(t)shion
-Chubstr interviews Reah Norman, the Executive Fashion Director for PLUS Model Magazine.
-Buttercup has a great post about saying no to fashion rules–and check out her badass squirrel sweater!
–Dani and Ms. Red Kitty are both undertaking no-buying wardrobe challenges. I really like the point that one of the commenters on the latter post made:

I really think I have a “thing” about clothes just because of how… unavailable clothing that I liked used to be. Up until the last couple of years it was very hard to find things, so I sort of have a “buy now or you’ll never have it” attitude. Really have to be careful, step back, and think about whether I need that item or will I ever wear it.

This is so true. And even though more clothing is now available in plus sizes, it’s still more expensive than straight-sized clothing–and it’s hard to find anything at thrift stores–so it’s easy to end up spending too much money.

Everything Else
–Guidelines for enjoying other cultures without appropriating them.
-A beautiful story about an amazing woman: What my mother taught me about feminism and fear.
–On behalf of Willow Smith and girls like her, shut up.
-It may be a bit late for linking to holiday gift guides, but I like this list of media made by queer people of color.
-I like Aoife’s take on the “friend zone.”

Wednesday fa(t)shion inspirations, 1/2/13

Skulls! Pleather! Fuzzy jacket! Yeah, I love everything about this outfit.

Les Petreries de Vanoue

I came across this post from when Domino Dollhouse was just starting up. This floral dress is absolutely gorgeous, and I wish it were still available! (Also, dresses starting at $18?! I’m sad I missed that. Right now I’m drooling over the $70 star-print skater dress…and the $90 galaxy-print dress.)

Messy Carla

OOTD: Galaxy leggings, part 2

Have I mentioned I love my Domino Dollhouse galaxy leggings? I wish I could afford the matching dress, but maybe someday it’ll go on sale. *crosses fingers*

Hoodie: T.J. Maxx (years and years ago), dress: Pop Up Plus, leggings: Domino Dollhouse, belt: ReDress, flower crown: Crown and Glory, shoes: Naot, earrings: present from Steve, short necklace: pendant from Michael’s on a chain, longer necklace: Roxie Sweetheart, studded wristband: PacSun, spike wristband: Hot Topic, rose bangle: H&M

Wet Seal plus, and the same old same old

I just read over at Stylish Curves that Wet Seal is re-launching their plus size line.

Yay?

On one hand, some of the stuff is really cute. Take, for instance, this velvet blazer:

This could be so easily dressed up for work, or even job interviews, with a nice black dress. And it could be so easily dressed down with a t-shirt and jeans. I could rock it with my gray tutu, a black top, and lots of pearls. Or my Nirvana t-shirt and ripped jeans.

And this skull sweater (SKULL SWEATER!):

On the other hand, this is not exactly progress. Wet Seal already had a plus size line, and got rid of it for no reason. Who knows if this new line will stay around for good, or get yanked like the old one.

Also, I haven’t been able to find confirmation on their site, but last time Wet Seal had a plus line, it was only available online. Online-only plus lines are not exactly new, and I’m sick of them.

Blog year in review: top 10 outfits of the year

Because, why not?

10. Argyle and tulle

9. Pink and black and ’90s all over

2012: Blog year in review

We’re here. We’re fat. We have awesome petticoats!

2012 was a pretty big year for Tutus and Tiny Hats, since it’s the year I started it.

I started in mid-June, which makes the blog just about half a year old. And it’s been a pretty awesome half a year. I’ve made connections around the blog-o-sphere, “met” some really cool people, and taken part in a lot of interesting conversations.

Before I started blogging, I was mostly a lurker, so it’s been exciting to get into the thick of it all. To feel like a real part of the fat-o-sphere, not just someone watching from the outside.

A big thank-you to all my readers, followers, and commenters for being awesome. 🙂

Without any further ado, here are my top ten posts of the year:

The frustrations of a fragmented fat online community

A little while ago, I talked about how it’s problematic that the bulk of online FA thinking is happening in XOJane, a non-fat-friendly space. I know there has been movement toward creating and improving FA spaces: Redefining Body Image has added Facebook comments (I’d prefer Disqus, but any comments are better than none!), and Issa is working on an awesome project that I can’t tell you about yet.

But the bulk of FA work is still going on at XOJane. And today I got a reminder of how that isn’t always good.

I wrote what I thought was an innocuous response to a question in an FA-related thread. Not a minute later, I got an angry response accusing me of defending a fat-hating troll.

I’m not going to lie, that hurts. It hurts to be misread. It hurts to be accused of saying something I would never, ever say.

I’ve gone over what I wrote, and I still can’t figure out how it could be interpreted that way. I just don’t see it.

But I do understand that sometimes miscommunications happen. They happen in real life, and they can happen even more easily on the internet.

Especially in non-FA spaces. Not that any online (or real-life space) is 100% miscommunication-free, but I think such misreadings are more likely to happen in a space that isn’t explicitly fat-friendly. There are plenty of fat-hating comments on XOJane, and people are understandably on guard, which can sometimes lead to seeing fat hatred where it really, really isn’t there.

Whereas in a fat-friendly space, fat-hating comments wouldn’t make it through moderation in the first place. People would be much more likely to assume good faith on the part of other commenters. There wouldn’t be this kneejerk defensiveness that’s warranted nine times out of ten, but misplaced and hurtful the tenth time.

I just want a place to talk with other fierce fatties, free from both people who think fat is bad and people who somehow assume I think fat is bad.

*sigh*

OOTD: Galaxy leggings, part 1

I was so excited to get my hands on a pair of Domino Dollhouse’s galactic-print leggings. I originally ordered them in a 2x when they first came out, but that turned out to be too big, so I had to exchange them for a 1x–and then wait for them to come back in stock. My pair finally arrived on Christmas Eve, so it felt like a present.

They’re super-comfy, and I love how they look on me, so I’ve already worn them multiple times. Here’s my first outfit–another one will be coming soon!

Shirt: Old Navy, jacket: Kohl’s, leggings: Domino Dollhouse, boots: Target, bow: Crown & Glory, necklace: Claire’s, rainbow bangle and earrings: So Good, spike wristband: Hot Topic, black and silver bangles: Deb and Torrid