And the worst parent of the year award goes to…

I was poking through the new books section in the library today when I noticed that Dara-Lynn Weiss, of the infamous Vogue article about putting her 7-year old daughter on a diet, now has a book about the same thing.

ARGHHH. So much argghh.

I feel so, so, so bad for that girl. I can’t even imagine how awful it must be to have your parent turn your weight into a public spectacle. To be forced onto diets from a young age, and then be made the subject of a book about how your body is so terrible and must be fixed. It’s so wrong, on so many levels.

I wish I could reach out to Weiss’ daughter and tell her that her body is perfect just the way it is. I wish I could tell her that her mom’s prejudice, not her body, is the problem.

I wish I could protect her.

I wish so, so badly that I could protect her.

From her mother, from other kids who undoubtedly bully her (how could you not get bullied, if your mom writes a book about how fat you are?), from the prying eyes of readers across the country.

All I have are wishes. Wishes and rage.


OOTD: Pink, purple, and floral

This skirt is one of my favorites. It’s reversible, purple on the other side. I also have it in turquoise/navy (although I don’t really wear the navy side).

I got both skirts on sale at a dance festival a few years ago. They were originally floor-length, but then the pink/purple one had an unfortunate accident when I was getting off the T and someone stepped on it…so I decided to get both skirts hemmed to mid-calf length. It worked out really well–now I wear them so much more often.

Tank top: Girlfriends L.A. back in the day!, peasant shirt underneath: Old Navy, skirt: dance festival, leggings: American Apparel, sneakers: Sugar Shoes via eBay, purse: gift from my grandmother, purple wristband: Torrid, black wristband: Macy’s, purple rose ring: a flea market, silver rose ring: probably Claire’s, fascinator: Enz’s, necklace: a store in Jamaica Plain

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Friday Links 4/26/13

Fat Activism
The whole concept of the “beach body” is ridiculous and this is why.
What’s stopping the fatty uprising?
-On back fat and radical self-acceptance.
Dear media: don’t feel bad that I love my body.
-This is a really cool art project: a good use of bad diet books.

A great post about how awesome the Big Thrifty, which is coming up on May 4th in Boston, is. I can’t wait for it! Fellow Bostonians, make sure to check it out–you might even end up with something that used to be mine, as I donated four bags of clothing.
DFTBA, ampersand, and interrobang necklaces: so much fabulous geekery.
-Affatshionista has a roundup of plus size tights, leggings, and jeggings in sizes 4x+.
Plus size secondhand clothing links.
-There are some truly amazing outfits–and hats!–in this post on wedding guest fashion.
Bowties made out of Legos and Scrabble pieces = awesome.

Everything Else
This is what it’s like to be a Muslim in Boston right now.
30 inspiring portraits of the people of Boston.
How my past as a black woman informs my black male feminist perspective today.
Class rage moment: the “simple life.”
Newly released Tim DeChristopher finds a movement transformed by his courage.
-I love Kate Conway’s list of 30 gorgeous individuals that People Magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful Celebrities” list probably missed.
Isn’t my black beautiful too?: Embracing black womanhood that defies ideals of “femininity.”
-The cutest thing I’ve seen all week: a corgi beach party!

Thoughts on Mia McKenzie’s letter to white liberals

Earlier this week, Mia McKenzie of Black Girl Dangerous wrote about being saddened by her own lack of empathy toward the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings, which she attributed to burnout from all the times when white people ignored violence against people of color.

My first thoughts were: I can’t. I just can’t. This is raw and honest and important, but I just can’t deal with anyone expressing a lack of empathy for the victims–no matter how understandable her reasons, no matter how clearly she wants to be able to empathize. Not after last week.

Then, a few days later, it showed up on my Facebook newsfeed, and I read it again.

It still hurt to read. Not only because of the lack of empathy that still hit me viscerally, but also because of McKenzie’s assumption that only white people were harmed by the bombings. In fact, one of the three people murdered at the Marathon was Lu Lingzi, a student from China. I’m not ok with erasing her.

Also, the effects of the bombings and the subsequent scary-as-fuck manhunt were felt city-wide. This wasn’t a white-Bostonians trauma: it was an all-Bostonians trauma.

That said, I still think McKenzie’s piece is important, and I’m glad she wrote it.

It’s a painful read, especially as a Bostonian.

And I really wish she had acknowledged that people of color were in fact affected by the bombings.

But that doesn’t change her immediate, visceral reaction, or the very real circumstances that led to it.

That doesn’t change the truth that racism kills children like Trayvon Martin.

That doesn’t change the truth that many white people ignore the suffering of people of color, and that even those of us who are trying hard to fight racism can do better.

McKenzie’s pain–and that of her friends who reacted similarly–is real. Boston’s pain, both individual and collective, is real.

As hard as it is to hold them both in my mind, to simultaneously honor both kinds of suffering, I will try.

Because I want to work toward a world in which neither has to happen.


I totally forgot that I had those two posts scheduled for today. I haven’t exactly felt like dealing with blog stuff, so it’s just as well.

Last week…ugh. Lindy West had the best take on it.

This week just has to be better. It just has to.

I got out of town for the weekend, which helped a bit. Steve and I went out to the Berkshires and got some nature-time and small-town-window-shopping time and tasty-food-eating-time, all of which are good things.

I’m tired. I’m just really tired.

I wish this existed: recycled costumes for regular people

So, I recently came across the Tumblr Recycled Movie Costumes, and it got me thinking. What if there was an everyday equivalent for us non-movie-stars?

I know there are Netflix-like clothing rental sites such as Gwynnie Bee, about which I’ve heard good things. But they’re for normal clothing, and they’re internet-based.

I would love to see a brick-and-mortar clothing rental business that had gorgeous, costume-y clothes in a wide variety of sizes. Flapper dresses, woodland fairy costumes, Victorian outfits, steampunk get-ups, Renaissance gowns…

People could rent them for special occasions, or just to play dress-up. You could have the fun of wearing gorgeous costumes from various eras without shelling out the expense to buy one, or investing in something that might no longer fit if your body changes. And you could always spend an evening trying on costumes with friends.

I don’t know if this could actually work as a business model–it would require keeping on hand a large number of costumes in different sizes, which might be prohibitively expensive. But it’s something I’d love to see in a sustainable future of fashion.

OOTD: Hedgehog and leopard

I’m so in love with this t-shirt that Steve got me for Valentine’s Day. It’s a sad hedgie that wants to give out hugs, but no one will hug it because it’s spiky!

Shirt: TeeTurtle, skirt: Torrid, studded wristband: PacSun, pink bangles: Rainbow (or maybe Wet Seal?), leggings: American Apparel, bow: Crown & Glory, earrings: a vendor who came to my college, pearl necklace: So Good, sneakers: Sugar Shoes via eBay, pink cameo ring: Target, heart ring: a toy store in Connecticut when I was 15

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Some happy news on a shitty day

I’m still cooped up inside as the manhunt continues. Blehh.

But at least I have plenty of ingredients in the apartment, so I just made a Funfetti cake, and I’ve got a macaroni and cheese pie with a bacon lattice top currently in the oven (inspired by this recipe, but using my favorite Moosewood mac n’ cheese recipe and turkey bacon). Mmmm, bacon.

Also, today Domino Dollhouse released part 1 of their Nuclear Seasons collection! I love their description:

For our Nuclear Seasons collection, we were inspired by the 90’s.  Our inspirations came from the the bright colors and shine of Lisa Frank, mixed with the styling of grunge to create a bold line of streetwear.  Mixing velvets, spandex, and mesh, this collection is easy to wear without sacrificing comfort.

Lisa Frank forever. Seriously, Lisa Frank is my childhood.

And grunge is my early teens (ok, grunge and ska, at the same time…what can I say, the mid-late-’90s were a strange time).

I’m especially drooling over the rainbow leggings:

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Friday links 4/19/13

Lavender lemon deliciousness

I have a bunch of Boston-related links, which I’ll be putting in a separate post soon. But for now, here’s your regular dose of all things fat, fatshionable, and fascinating. I hope you’re all holding up ok after this week, which has been…well, the Onion says it best.

-I love this ode to Hot Topic.
-On the bullshit that is straight sized women modeling nearly all plus size clothing.
-Check out the Teen Spirit Library, where you can find scans of entire magazines and catalogs from the ’90s!
12 natural black wedding hairstyles for the offbeat and on-point.
-German fatshionistas, check out this clothing swap!
-Lesley’s spring fatshion guide is both hilarious and full of awesome dresses.

Fat Activism
-Ragen writes about both the good and bad medical experiences her girlfriend had when she injured her knee.
-An important piece on the way “love your body” rhetoric shifts the focus to individuals rather than political change.
-A powerful piece about body positivity for women who live at the intersection of oppressions: Mi abuelita: skin color, pecas, and body size.
-Everyone keeps talking about My Mad Fat Diary–I really should start watching it.
-All I have to say about Dove’s latest foray into faux body positivity is UGGH. Luckilythere are a bunch of people who are more eloquent on the matter than I am.
-I love this piece from Tiffany of the More Cabaret on activism, healthism, and fat athletes.
-Fat brides, check out this call for participants in a research project.

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