Originally posted here.

My fabulous fat necklace
The other day, a few of my friends were discussing people they’d known in high school. Apparently the ones who’d been conventionally attractive then are now fat and ugly. And there was one girl who used to be fat, lost about 70 pounds, and looks great. “She was always pretty, but now she’s stunning!”
I hate it. I hate the automatic assumption that thinner is better, that “getting fat” is inherently bad. I hate that if I suddenly lost a large amount of weight, people would compliment me left and right–like they did when I was dieting in college. I hate that those same people would consider me less attractive now.
This is why I blog.
To counter the 386,170 fat-negative messages per year that we are all bombarded with.
To take up space, without apology.
To define beauty on my own terms.
To question cultural assumptions.
To do my part, however small, in changing them.
good for you! my weight has fluctuated and I have personally felt both sides of the comments. I get more attention from men when I am thinner, but how do I know if it’s “legit” if I am thin??
Thanks! Yeah, it’s really frustrating when that happens.
Hi Laura…I am recently widowed…63….and 255 lbs….My husband loved me just the way I am….but Im not so sure anyone else would…But that is ok for now…We got married when I was 17 (45 years ago!) and I have never been single…Im not a writer but if I was I would write about being “Fat and Single and Loving It”……My grown children are very encouraging and supportive…and love me just the way I am…I have some of the books you listed and they have been very helpful…So my new adventures in life begin and you are now a part of it….Thank you so much!!!!!!
Rebecca
Hi Rebecca,
I’m so sorry for your loss! I’m glad that your kids are encouraging, and that you are enjoying your new single life. If you ever do end up writing about that piece, I’d love to read it! And I am really glad to be a part of your new adventures. 😀
Laura
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