2012: Blog year in review

We’re here. We’re fat. We have awesome petticoats!

2012 was a pretty big year for Tutus and Tiny Hats, since it’s the year I started it.

I started in mid-June, which makes the blog just about half a year old. And it’s been a pretty awesome half a year. I’ve made connections around the blog-o-sphere, “met” some really cool people, and taken part in a lot of interesting conversations.

Before I started blogging, I was mostly a lurker, so it’s been exciting to get into the thick of it all. To feel like a real part of the fat-o-sphere, not just someone watching from the outside.

A big thank-you to all my readers, followers, and commenters for being awesome. 🙂

Without any further ado, here are my top ten posts of the year: Continue reading

The frustrations of a fragmented fat online community

A little while ago, I talked about how it’s problematic that the bulk of online FA thinking is happening in XOJane, a non-fat-friendly space. I know there has been movement toward creating and improving FA spaces: Redefining Body Image has added Facebook comments (I’d prefer Disqus, but any comments are better than none!), and Issa is working on an awesome project that I can’t tell you about yet.

But the bulk of FA work is still going on at XOJane. And today I got a reminder of how that isn’t always good.

I wrote what I thought was an innocuous response to a question in an FA-related thread. Not a minute later, I got an angry response accusing me of defending a fat-hating troll.

I’m not going to lie, that hurts. It hurts to be misread. It hurts to be accused of saying something I would never, ever say.

I’ve gone over what I wrote, and I still can’t figure out how it could be interpreted that way. I just don’t see it.

But I do understand that sometimes miscommunications happen. They happen in real life, and they can happen even more easily on the internet.

Especially in non-FA spaces. Not that any online (or real-life space) is 100% miscommunication-free, but I think such misreadings are more likely to happen in a space that isn’t explicitly fat-friendly. There are plenty of fat-hating comments on XOJane, and people are understandably on guard, which can sometimes lead to seeing fat hatred where it really, really isn’t there.

Whereas in a fat-friendly space, fat-hating comments wouldn’t make it through moderation in the first place. People would be much more likely to assume good faith on the part of other commenters. There wouldn’t be this kneejerk defensiveness that’s warranted nine times out of ten, but misplaced and hurtful the tenth time.

I just want a place to talk with other fierce fatties, free from both people who think fat is bad and people who somehow assume I think fat is bad.


OOTD: Galaxy leggings, part 1

I was so excited to get my hands on a pair of Domino Dollhouse’s galactic-print leggings. I originally ordered them in a 2x when they first came out, but that turned out to be too big, so I had to exchange them for a 1x–and then wait for them to come back in stock. My pair finally arrived on Christmas Eve, so it felt like a present.

They’re super-comfy, and I love how they look on me, so I’ve already worn them multiple times. Here’s my first outfit–another one will be coming soon!

Shirt: Old Navy, jacket: Kohl’s, leggings: Domino Dollhouse, boots: Target, bow: Crown & Glory, necklace: Claire’s, rainbow bangle and earrings: So Good, spike wristband: Hot Topic, black and silver bangles: Deb and Torrid

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Friday Links 12/28/12

I hope you all have been enjoying the holidays, and have fun things planned for New Year’s! Steve and I will be going to a small dinner party, which should be fun. It’s hard to believe it’s already almost 2013–I still remember when 2000 seemed futuristic.

A uterus and a moose chilling in a gift shop

-Alison has a great True Fashionista year end recap. My favorites are Denisio, Desiree, and Meagan.
-Similarly, Alissa has a roundup of 2012’s Stylish Curves of the Day.
100 coolest Harajuku looks of 2012, straight from Tokyo.
Burning Man gets dressed up.
Going rogue: on the cultural implications of “alternative” beauty.
-I love this piece about pillbox hats. I feel similarly about fascinators, and now I’m tempted to branch out. Also, I didn’t know you could pin pillbox hats on with bobby pins, which is really good to know.
-On a similarly hat-related note: In defense of the “nice guy” fedora. I really like this piece as well. I love fedoras on both men and women, and I hate how they’ve become a symbol of jackassery. I especially agree with this comment:

[A] few years ago and ongoing, black plastic glasses (which I wear because they are so super-cheap. $35 bucks at wal-mart, jabronis!) were the thing to hate because they were hipsterish.
Now it’s fedoras.

Why are we picking arbitrary clothing items and giving them inalienable human characteristics? Why are clothing items getting personified?

WHATEVER! It sort of makes me want to get a fedora with tiny plastic black-framed glasses pinned all over it.

Fat Activism
Debunking the myth that there were no fat people until recently.
Fat and jolly? Not so much.
Some jerks want to put Santa Claus on a diet “for the children.”

Yeah, pretty much.

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Fa(t)shion Inspirations, 12/26/12

Happy day-after-Christmas, for those who celebrate it (or day-after-Movies-and-Chinese-Day, for my fellow Jews). 🙂

There’s been lots of amazing and inspiring fa(t)shion around the internets lately.

This look is just whoaaaaa. I’ve actually been eyeing that Forever 21+ blazer forever–if it’s still available next time I have money, I’m totally getting it. Also, how amazing is that blue lipstick?!

Dudes wearing glitter is awesome and needs to happen more often.

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WLS: What a Load of Shit

I’ve been thinking about Fat Additives’ post about her experience with weight loss surgery (which I included in last week’s Friday Links).

I’ve read so many other horror stories about WLS. It’s scary that the weight-loss industry promotes it as a solution for so many fat people.

Sure, some people have good experiences. But the percentage of people who have serious problems is significant. And when a supposed cure makes things worse for a significant number of people? That’s a problem.

It’s a problem that even when it goes “right,” it can cause a lifetime of malnutrition and digestive problems.

It’s a problem that, in this day and age, we’re trying to cure health issues by mutilating healthy tissue rather than dealing with the issues directly.

Disclaimer: I’m not telling anyone what to do. People can make whatever choices they want about their own bodies, and if someone wants to get WLS, I won’t tell them not to (although I would encourage them to research it thoroughly).

BUT I have a problem with the widespread use of WLS. I wish it were reserved for the very rare cases in which it’s the lesser of two evils–and even then, I wish medical researchers were hard at work searching for alternatives.

Imagine if all the time, energy, and resources that go into WLS went into improving health regardless of weight. Into treating diabetes, heart disease, or mobility issues directly, rather than using weight as a terribly inaccurate proxy.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…

Friday Links 12/21/12

Happy apocalypse! Also, for those who celebrate it, merry almost-Christmas. Here is a ginormous Christmas tree I saw recently:

As for this week’s news, oy. My heart goes out to everyone affected by the tragedy.

There’s been a ton of discussion around the internet on everything from mental health to gun control to violent masculinity.  I’ve been doing a lot of reading and thinking, but I’m only going to post the few essays I can get behind 100%:
These mornings after.
You cannot make me own a gun: what gun culture looks like.
How a gun-loving West Texas girl learned to fear assault weapons.

Also, I recommend this video of  golden retriever therapy dogs helping children in Newtown. Goldens are just the best.

-I love these pictures of plus size celebrities’ best outfits of the year. If I had to pick one, I’d vote for Beth Ditto, but I also love Jill Scott’s black and pink dress.
10 unique fairy gifts on Etsy for $50 and under.
Harajuku’s top trends in 2012. I love that one of the trends is tutus/petticoats (which they call “pannier skirts”).

Fat Activism
The space we need.
Holy mixed messages, Fatman!
What is a job for a morbidly obese woman?

-Issa has a new, ridiculously adorable puppy!
Quiz: is this a bunny?

Everything Else
Why we can’t ignore the caveats to Cory Booker’s food stamp challenge.
Literacy privilege: how I learned to check mine instead of making fun of people’s grammar on the internet.
Why the ‘nice guys commit rape too’ conversation is not helpful.
My first resolution: be more vain.
Glamorous girly New Year’s party inspiration. Giant disco balls? Hells yes.

Here’s some amazing music for you. If you like this, I highly recommend check out the rest of Lindsey Stirling ‘s videos–for the scenery and costuming as well as the music itself.

This is one of my favorite videos from the Project for Awesome, not just because the organization does really cool stuff, but also because they have the most adorable and rather large lapdog.