Happy International No Diet Day!

Today, May 6th, is International No Diet Day. (It comes a day after Cinco de Mayo, and two days after Star Wars Day, making for quite the festive week!)

It’s been six years since I first came across Shapely Prose while exploring the feminist blog-o-sphere,  and there has been nothing more influential on my journey to accepting my body. It took time, and working through resistance, but the idea that there was nothing wrong with being fat–that it was possible to be healthy and happy at any size, and that weight-loss dieting was in fact both harmful and counterproductive–was a revolutionary spark.

And now here I am, blogging about fatshion and  living fabulously.

Loving my body isn’t always easy, and sometimes I still struggle with taking care of it: with eating the right foods for my body, getting enough joyful movement, finding ways to reduce stress and anxiety. But beneath those struggles is a baseline of acceptance: of knowing that my body is ok just the way it is. And for that, I am profoundly grateful.

The Big Thrifty!

Saturday was the most exciting shopping event of the year: The Big Thrifty. It’s an annual bargain-shopping event where people donate  plus size clothing in advance, pay $5 to get in, and then get to hunt through piles of awesome clothing priced at thrift-store prices. The proceeds go to charity, so it’s win-win all around.

Fabulous fatshionistas in line, waiting for the event to start (from the Big Thrifty’s Facebook page)

The Big Thrifty is awesome both because it’s a chance to try on clothing in person–which makes it easier to try new styles and brands–and because of the sense of fat community. Although it was uncomfortably crowded, everyone was friendly and polite. In the dressing room–which was a veritable celebration of fat bodies–everyone was passing clothing around and complimenting how items looked on other people.

It was wonderful to be among so many fabulous fatties: friends, internet friends, blog idols, and strangers, all joined in the pursuit of great clothing. And it made me happy to see the clothing I donated going to good homes!

I scored some awesome stuff, including a Deerie Lou t-shirt from Torrid, a pink prom dress (!), a turquoise Igigi sundress, a purple ruffled sleeveless top, and a bolero with cherry appliques. I’ll post more about my finds soon, once I’ve had the chance to photograph them. I have some OOTDs coming as well, both from the day of the event, and from that night (when I went to a party wearing the Igigi dress) and the next day (when I went to a May Fair wearing the Deerie Lou shirt).

The Big Thrifty includes men’s clothing, so Steve was able to find some stuff as well!

The sense of community got me thinking, wouldn’t it be fun to have an event like a picnic where we fatties could all frolic together? Something with the positive sense of solidarity of the Big Thrifty, but without being crammed into a dusty, crowded room (which, unfortunately, gave me a headache that kept coming back throughout the day…blehh).

So I’m going to plan a Fabulous Fatties Frolic, which will most likely involve a picnic in a park in Cambridge. Stay tuned for details!

Friday links 5/3/13

A sculpture I saw recently near Kendall Square, Cambridge.

Fa(t)shion
-I love Gabi’s piece on fatshion as a form of radical visibility.
-Next week, Advanced Style will be holding a Celebration of Aging with Hebrew Senior Life in Canton, MA. It’s too far from Boston for me, but if you live on the South Shore, check it out!
–Offbeat Bride’s fashion Pinterest board has some amazing style inspiration. A leopard dress with a lime green petticoat, rainbow tutus,  an octopus cardigan, fairy costumes, kilts….so much fabulousness. And a good variety of body types, too.
–Fae are radical beauty.

Fat Activism
–The basics: what is a fat activist?
–Why you’ll never get a new body (and that’s ok).
–Is emotional eating really so bad?
-Both Lindy West and Ragen Chastain have great pieces about the new study demonstrating medical bias against fat people.
–Screw you, Weight Watchers!
–This picture of a fat aerial acrobat makes me so happy.
-Check out Stacy Bias’ fat superhero name generator! Mine is The Fleshy Fury. 😀
–PSA: “Obesity” is not the opposite end of a spectrum to anorexia.

I love this spoof of Dove’s bullshit “you’re more conventionally beautiful than you think” video (probably NSFW):

Climate Justice and Sustainability
–The medium chill, revisited.
–From housing to health care, 7 cooperatives that are changing our economy.
–Climate change hurts women; the Wall Street Journal sneers.
–Ten U.S. cities now on board with fossil fuel divestment!
-This quilt depicting climate change is gorgeous.

Why climate change is not an environmental issue:

Everything Else
–An open letter to the Cleveland Dealer re: racist transphobia and Cemia Dove.
-Check out fat activist and all-around awesome writer Hanne Blank’s new project, A Girl’s Gotta Eat.
-Yes yes yes: the care and feeding of your extrovert.
–After Boston, this is how we begin again.
–Some of us believe: a racial narrative on Catholic feminist hybridity.
–Shimmying toward freedom: burlesque as resistance.
–Fight for two May Day traditions.
–Tell the Bartow police and FL state attorney Jerry Hill to drop the charges against Kiera Wilmot, a teenager who was charged with a felony for a science experiment gone wrong.

Want to know how I feel about the threat of climate change?

Then read this essay by Megan Mayhew Bergman.

A taste:

I want to be hopeful. On good days, I go to 350.org and am heartened by their belief that we can make large-scale changes in the human activity that results in global warming. Not that we can, but we will. But most days, I don’t think we’re going to save this planet. I don’t think, as humans, we’re going to do the right thing. Is that constructive to say? No. Is it subscribing to the very unhelpful school of shaming the enemy, even if that enemy is yourself?  Yes. But if I knock the moral sieve out of the way and give it to you straight, that’s what keeps me up at night. Our inevitable failure.

I don’t know how she got inside my head. This is how I feel, down to the letter, with the one major difference that she has small children whereas I don’t even have kids yet.  How do I even begin to think about bringing new lives into this world?

When it comes to fat activism, I feel like I can make a difference. Even just putting pictures of myself on the internet, pictures of myself being fat and happy and fabulous, can be radical in its own small way.

But climate change? It’s huge, and all-encompassing, and terrifying. It makes everything else feel meaningless.

I don’t have the guts (or the financial stability, but mostly the guts) to devote my life to it. To chain myself to other activists like the Westboro 8, or lock myself to a piece of heavy machinery like a grandmother from Oklahoma. I admire the hell out of them from a distance. I go to 350 meetings, I do my little bits of activism, and I distract myself.

I don’t know how I’d get through the day if I didn’t distract myself. I don’t know how I’d stay sane.

Deep down, I’m terrified.

And, unlike my various irrational anxieties, I know that this terror is real. This terror is justified. I don’t think there’s any way to quell it without going completely into denial.

How can we build good lives atop this undercurrent of panic? How can we keep hoping in the face of overwhelming odds, while our government twiddles its fingers?

How do we live well and justly in this world when there’s a very real chance that it’s just too late?

I wish I had answers.

I wish there were answers.

Wednesday Fa(t)shion Inspirations, 5/1/13

Weesha’s World

Fat People of Color

On fatkinis and exclusion

News of Gabi Gregg’s new swimsuit collection has been making the rounds in the fatshion-sphere. I’m of two minds about it…

On one hand, how amazing is that galaxy print fatkini? I’d wear the shit out of that. It looks like the top might even be decently supportive. And although I’m not a fan of high-waisted anything, the bottoms are designed to be rolled down.

I’ve never worn a fatkini before, and if I had the money to buy one right now, this is one I’d love to start with.

But…the collection, like so many plus size lines, only goes up to a size 24.

It’s so frustrating how common the arbitrary size limit of 24 is for the many of the cutest, trendiest plus size clothes. It leaves so many people out.

In this case, it’s especially frustrating, because the collection starts at a size 10. Women who wear a size 10, 12, 14, sometimes even 16 or 18 can find their sizes in straight sized stores. It seems unfair that they’re being given yet another option, while options in a 24+ are so limited.

Just once, I’d like to see a plus size line that starts at 20 or 22 or 24. I understand that it takes a certain amount of time/effort/money to draft patterns in different sizes, so a new line might not be able to make a large range of sizes–but why start at 10, which isn’t even a plus size? Why not 14-28, 18-32, 22-36?

I’m happy to see fatkinis making news, and I give Gabi credit for doing something creative and cool, but…it just sucks to see women who wear sizes 24+ be excluded yet again. It sucks how often plus size clothing lines are presented as revolutionary when they leave so many people out. It sucks that the same people keep getting left out, over and over again.

And the worst parent of the year award goes to…

I was poking through the new books section in the library today when I noticed that Dara-Lynn Weiss, of the infamous Vogue article about putting her 7-year old daughter on a diet, now has a book about the same thing.

ARGHHH. So much argghh.

I feel so, so, so bad for that girl. I can’t even imagine how awful it must be to have your parent turn your weight into a public spectacle. To be forced onto diets from a young age, and then be made the subject of a book about how your body is so terrible and must be fixed. It’s so wrong, on so many levels.

I wish I could reach out to Weiss’ daughter and tell her that her body is perfect just the way it is. I wish I could tell her that her mom’s prejudice, not her body, is the problem.

I wish I could protect her.

I wish so, so badly that I could protect her.

From her mother, from other kids who undoubtedly bully her (how could you not get bullied, if your mom writes a book about how fat you are?), from the prying eyes of readers across the country.

All I have are wishes. Wishes and rage.

 

OOTD: Pink, purple, and floral

This skirt is one of my favorites. It’s reversible, purple on the other side. I also have it in turquoise/navy (although I don’t really wear the navy side).

I got both skirts on sale at a dance festival a few years ago. They were originally floor-length, but then the pink/purple one had an unfortunate accident when I was getting off the T and someone stepped on it…so I decided to get both skirts hemmed to mid-calf length. It worked out really well–now I wear them so much more often.

Tank top: Girlfriends L.A. back in the day!, peasant shirt underneath: Old Navy, skirt: dance festival, leggings: American Apparel, sneakers: Sugar Shoes via eBay, purse: gift from my grandmother, purple wristband: Torrid, black wristband: Macy’s, purple rose ring: a flea market, silver rose ring: probably Claire’s, fascinator: Enz’s, necklace: a store in Jamaica Plain

Friday Links 4/26/13

Fat Activism
–The whole concept of the “beach body” is ridiculous and this is why.
–What’s stopping the fatty uprising?
-On back fat and radical self-acceptance.
–Dear media: don’t feel bad that I love my body.
-This is a really cool art project: a good use of bad diet books.

Fa(t)shion
–A great post about how awesome the Big Thrifty, which is coming up on May 4th in Boston, is. I can’t wait for it! Fellow Bostonians, make sure to check it out–you might even end up with something that used to be mine, as I donated four bags of clothing.
–DFTBA, ampersand, and interrobang necklaces: so much fabulous geekery.
-Affatshionista has a roundup of plus size tights, leggings, and jeggings in sizes 4x+.
–Plus size secondhand clothing links.
-There are some truly amazing outfits–and hats!–in this post on wedding guest fashion.
–Bowties made out of Legos and Scrabble pieces = awesome.

Everything Else
–This is what it’s like to be a Muslim in Boston right now.
–30 inspiring portraits of the people of Boston.
–How my past as a black woman informs my black male feminist perspective today.
–Class rage moment: the “simple life.”
–Newly released Tim DeChristopher finds a movement transformed by his courage.
-I love Kate Conway’s list of 30 gorgeous individuals that People Magazine’s “50 Most Beautiful Celebrities” list probably missed.
–Isn’t my black beautiful too?: Embracing black womanhood that defies ideals of “femininity.”
-The cutest thing I’ve seen all week: a corgi beach party!

Thoughts on Mia McKenzie’s letter to white liberals

Earlier this week, Mia McKenzie of Black Girl Dangerous wrote about being saddened by her own lack of empathy toward the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings, which she attributed to burnout from all the times when white people ignored violence against people of color.

My first thoughts were: I can’t. I just can’t. This is raw and honest and important, but I just can’t deal with anyone expressing a lack of empathy for the victims–no matter how understandable her reasons, no matter how clearly she wants to be able to empathize. Not after last week.

Then, a few days later, it showed up on my Facebook newsfeed, and I read it again.

It still hurt to read. Not only because of the lack of empathy that still hit me viscerally, but also because of McKenzie’s assumption that only white people were harmed by the bombings. In fact, one of the three people murdered at the Marathon was Lu Lingzi, a student from China. I’m not ok with erasing her.

Also, the effects of the bombings and the subsequent scary-as-fuck manhunt were felt city-wide. This wasn’t a white-Bostonians trauma: it was an all-Bostonians trauma.

That said, I still think McKenzie’s piece is important, and I’m glad she wrote it.

It’s a painful read, especially as a Bostonian.

And I really wish she had acknowledged that people of color were in fact affected by the bombings.

But that doesn’t change her immediate, visceral reaction, or the very real circumstances that led to it.

That doesn’t change the truth that racism kills children like Trayvon Martin.

That doesn’t change the truth that many white people ignore the suffering of people of color, and that even those of us who are trying hard to fight racism can do better.

McKenzie’s pain–and that of her friends who reacted similarly–is real. Boston’s pain, both individual and collective, is real.

As hard as it is to hold them both in my mind, to simultaneously honor both kinds of suffering, I will try.

Because I want to work toward a world in which neither has to happen.