I don’t even know where to start with 2014–it had all sorts of ups, downs, and mehs, sometimes all at the same time.
When it comes to style and blogging, I’ve had a lot of fun (as you can see by my favorite outfits featured throughout this post). I’ve experimented more than ever, deepened my connections with my readers and other bloggers (you all rock!), and been influenced by a range of aesthetics I didn’t even know existed until recently, from dark mori to strega to lagenlook.
I’ve also continued to engage with my local fat community through the Facebook group I started last year, and it’s been so exciting to see it grow. Everyone is so supportive of each other, and it’s wonderful to have an online space where we can discuss anything from where to find various items of clothing to the frustrations of living in a fat-phobic world. I also like how decentralized it is–anyone can plan an event, and I am excited for the upcoming brunch planned by a new member who just moved to town!
Thank you so much to everyone who reads and comments on my blog, and everyone who is part of the fat community here in Boston and around the world.
In the non-fatshion-related areas of my life (gasp! Such thing exists?!), there were three big things that happened in 2014:
1.) I finally found a stable job with benefits, after temping and job-hunting for years. It was somewhat anticlimactic, since I had already been working at the company for months as a temp, but it’s been a big relief to have some stability.
I’m still dealing with plenty of what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life shit, and plenty of sitting-at-a-desk-all-day blahs, but at least I’m not also dealing with constant uncertainty, and that’s a really good thing.
2.) Steve and I spent a week split between Iceland and France, which was my first trip to Europe, and my third time going anywhere outside the US. It was SO AWESOME, and it only ignited the wanderlust that’s been simmering for years.
I still haven’t blogged much about the trip, mostly because I’ve been overwhelmed by sorting through the sheer volume of pictures I took, but I promise I will eventually. In short: I loved it. I loved the gorgeous architectural details that were everywhere in Paris, the colorful chairs outside of cafes, the double-decker carousels (!), the crepes. I loved the cozy, artsy feel of Reykjavik, the ubiquitous street art, the otherworldly volcanic landscapes, the experience of swimming in geothermally heated water during freezing rain. Most of all, I loved exploring new places, walking all day and never knowing quite what I would find.
The trip was such a whirlwind–we had a Groupon for “7 days” split between the two countries, which was effectively 2 1/2 days in each. It was amazing, and it was whiplash-y, and it was nowhere near enough time. It reaffirmed my desire to travel slowly: to spend weeks or even months getting to know places, to transition gradually from one country or state into another. For a lot of reasons, that’s unlikely to be possible anytime soon, or possibly ever–at least without making sacrifices that I’m not currently willing to make. So I’ve been dealing with a lot of…recalibration of dreams, to put it lightly. I’m grateful for that vacation, and that I have a few more coming up: Montreal in the spring, tentatively Portland/Seattle in the fall. I’m grateful as hell that I finally have a job where I get paid vacation time. But I’m also struggling with the feeling that I’m giving up on something I really care about, and that’s been hard.
3.) I celebrated my three-year anniversary with Steve, which is also our two-year anniversary of living together (and, for me, 5 years in this apartment, a bit over 7 years in Somerville, and 11 years in the Boston area if you count college). He is wonderful and silly and adorable and I’m so, so glad I have him in my life.
My feelings about Boston are more complicated, which is to say: I love my city, I love my community, I love that I have a deep sense of rooted-ness both generally in New England and specifically in Boston. But I’ve also run out of places to explore and I’m bored and I want to know what it’s like to live somewhere else. For many reasons, this is unlikely to change anytime soon, so….it’s a tension I have to live with.
And then there’s the outside world. 2014 has been a never-ending parade of horror and injustice. Other people have written more eloquently about it, so I’ll just say, WOW, what a shitty year. At the same time, it’s also been a year of resistance: of cross-issue and cross-community organizing, of decentralized youth-led movements, of blending art and activism, of people around the world standing up for justice and peace in incredible numbers. I’m inspired by all the activism I’ve seen, and the small amount I’ve been part of. The world may be terrible, but there are so many people working to make it better in so many ways.
I was going to end this post with thought and reflections about what I look forward to, and what I would like to do, in 2015–but this is already getting really long, so that’ll probably have to be its own post. For now, thank you to everyone who has been part of my 2014, and I wish you all a happy 2015!