I’m really, really jealous of the people whose weight never changes, no matter what they eat or how much they exercise or how stressed out they get. I’m pretty sure that either Lesley or Marianne, possibly both, has written about staying the same weight for a decade; damn, I wish my body would do that.
Fatshion, for me, is all about using my body as a canvas–and that’s hard to do when it keeps changing.
When I first found fat acceptance and stopped trying to lose weight, my weight settled around 200 lbs, dropped to 180-ish for no discernible reason, and then stayed there for a few years. Then, due to a combination of anxiety keeping me from some of my favorite forms of movement and other factors, I gained weight over the course of a year or two and ended up around 235/240. I’ve been there for two or three years with only minor fluctuations, but I’m constantly aware that my weight could shift again.
Right now, I’m don’t want my weight to change in either direction. If I lose weight, most of the wardrobe I’ve built over the last few years will no longer fit; and I’ve gradually given away or sold most of the clothing that’s currently too small. If my body decides to get smaller, I’ll be kicking myself for giving away the black and beige lace evening gown, the blue/pink/brown ’60s-floral-print sundress, the eggplant satin button-down top with ruffles…
But if my body decides to get bigger, not only will most of my current clothes no longer fit, but I’ll have significantly fewer options for buying new ones. As it is, I already wear the largest or second-largest size in many plus size lines, especially junior’s plus like Wet Seal, Forever 21, and Deb.
It’s a bit precarious to wear a size 22, knowing that many plus size lines stop at 24, and that your body may well get bigger as you age (and possibly have children, not to mention other factors that can affect weight). Here I want to pause and give a shout-out to a few brands that go beyond 3x/24: Domino Dollhouse, ASOS Curve, Simply Be, Yours, Love Your Peaches, Ashley Nell Tipton, Cult of California, Torrid, ModCloth, eShakti, Sealed With a Kiss, and Chubby Cartwheels.
So I buy mostly stretchy items–most of my clothes can stretch to fit 10, 20, even 30-pound weight fluctuations. I even have one magic skirt that has fit comfortably at every size from 160 lbs to 240. Seriously, it deserves its own movie.
And I keep hoping that my body will chill out and stay the same size indefinitely, even though I know it’s ultimately out of my control.